I don't watch TV because it mostly consists of drama. But, there are some comedy shows. I know a few Hindi ones and one Marathi show and I'll admit, all of them are funny. But, there's a difference between PJs and actual jokes.

Most of the comedy shows are reality shows that have partners who present sketches or so. Comedy nights with Kapil is one show I know that has a bit of stand up comedy and sketches too. And when I first heard from a friend that it has stand up comedy, I was pretty surprised. And by the way, this show is pretty much the only comedy show that every family watches and it makes me sad that this is their idea of funny.

If you've ever seen stand up comedy, you'll know that it's basically telling jokes, without props or anything of that sort, with hand gestures and voice changes etc. and the world's #1 stand up comedian right now, Russell Peters, is Indian. Of course, these jokes are to be told in a proper way, you can't just memorize a bunch of random jokes and tell them.

And what I've seen in a lot of stand up comedy shows, Indian and otherwise, is that it has a lot of audience participation. Its not like the audience is called on the stage, but they do speak to different people in the audience and make jokes on them etc.

But this show, it's as if the entire thing was set up just for "Paaji". There is no improv comedy based on the audience, it's entirely scripted.

And there's another show. I haven't really seen it on TV but I saw a few videos on YouTube. It was Rising Stars of Comedy on NDTV. That show had actual stand up comedy with Indian comedians from various laughter clubs across the country. All they put on YouTube were 10 minute clips and yet there are so many videos of that show. That means, there's no shortage of stand-up comedy in India.

And all of them are funny. And they talk about the life of Indians, maybe a few racist jokes, political jokes but all of that is much funnier than the sketches of Comedy Nights with Kapil. Why? Because the entire show is based on cheap jokes. The show is based on really bad puns, and the kind of shitty jokes that are popular on Whatsapp.

And I still don't understand how this show is so popular, and an actual funny show, with real stand up comics is still unknown to the majority. And the worst part of Comedy Nights with Kapil is "Paaji" laughing. We get it, you're getting paid to laugh. But enough, he laughs at the most absurd things. It's as if his sense of humor is so messed up, he'll even laugh at "hello". And what's worse is that they have a mic near him. Which means, the viewers have to put up with this guy laughing for no reason.

If you want to laugh, check out Russell Peters, Vir Das, Kunal Rao, Sorabh Pant, Sanjay Manaktala, Jeevashu Aluhwalia, Sahil Shah, Varun Grover, Azeem Banatwala, Atul Khatri, Maheep Singh, Angad Singh Ranyal, Neeti Palta, and there's many more. And this is just the names I got from YouTube. Just half of what you can watch on TV. And their improv comedy is so much more better and funnier than the scripted comedy of any other comedy show.

It's more of a social obligation to celebrate this one day. I say obligation because that's what everyone talks about when you go to school/work on the 2nd. Everyone boasts how awesome their party was and something like that.

But I fail to understand the motive behind the hype. For one, you end up spending your entire Christmas bonus in one night. Second, people are EVERYWHERE. That means, if you want to reach a restaurant by 9, you have to leave your house 2 hours before.

And well, since people are everywhere, you have to wait at restaurants/clubs/etc.

Of course, it's mostly just grown-ups that get to celebrate. But, even the kids are hyper before midnight on the 31st. Then, when it's midnight, they wish everyone by text, calls, Whatsapp, Facebook (can't meet in person because they're still kids) and everyone's really happy for 15 - 30 minutes.

After that, we all realize that that's it. We realize our holidays are about to end and we need to start studying again. So, that's it. The hype is about 15 - 30 minutes.

Even worse, in my opinion, are the cheesy messages you receive. Most ironical, as far as I know, is the fact that you get messages saying "May this year be full of joy...blah blah...and all your wishes come true." from people you haven't even heard from in months.

And the worst of all is the fact that this day or transition from one year to another does not count for anything. It amounts to nothing, at least in India. If you think about it, you'll realize, our fiscal year starts in April. (Source) And our academic year begins in June (for schools) and July (for colleges).

So, there is no apparent reason for celebrating.

We all know it as the idiot box. Something that keeps us addicted all day long, with multiple channels and hundreds of ways of attracting us. TVs today have reality shows from all over the world, educational shows, daily and weekly soaps from all over the world, movies (national and international), news, music and miscellaneous.

In India, we have different DTH providers (Satellite TV, in case you don't know) and some of them provide games through their set-top boxes.

A lot of DTH services also have a recording feature now. Which means, you can record your favourite shows and watch it again and again, like a VCR (which, I think, never came to India)

Serials are a BIG part of any Indian household. It is one aspect where parents are more addicted than children. And these serials are down to the earth stupid. These directors, they know how addictive their serials are and how many viewers they will get.

Because, in all fairness, Indians are a bad judge for movies. There are a few good critics, and teens nowadays have started hating some bollywood movies. But, parents, no. They will hate every movie, song, serial their kid watches but whatever shit they put on their Hindi serial channel, they will watch it.

That's how an average Indian household is. All day long, the mom does her chores, dad goes out to work. Then, when the first serial starts airing, she will glue herself to the couch while waiting for the dad. And when he comes home, after missing 1 or 2 serials, she will tell him what happened. She only tells him 50% and he only understands 25% but he's still excited about the serial no matter how shitty it is.

So, they don't discriminate, they could put ANYTHING on that channel, as long as it doesn't have nudity and constant swearing, parents will watch it. Something educational, something that spreads awareness about a sensitive issue, something citizens should know about the country or stuff like that.

But, no.

You know what they show?

Typical Hindi serials:

Guy is richer than God. Marries a pretty girl who doesn't have a job (hence spreading the message that girls are gold diggers) then she just works in the kitchen all day (Yes, another stereotype that needs to change now)

Huge family in one house. The most elder person in charge of everything however, the male adult often goes against the elder, and ends up getting slapped, in slow motion, 5 - 6 times, depending on the director.

All have dinner together (which fucking encourages parents to call their kids to have dinner with them, while they watch this shit and give excuses like "As a family, we should spend more time together") and naturally, the women are just serving food to the men. Then, there's a discussion going on, usually something to lighten the mood, or sometimes overly serious based on some recent problem in the house. But when a woman voices her opinion, the men shut her down. (promoting a male dominated society)

Discrimination against women is a serious issue in India, and very very sensitive. Even I don't joke about it. I was just on a class trip to a city far from home and I saw first hand what the females go through in public places.

And these serials just encourage the crowd. Yes, I know, TV serials are for entertainment and they aren't to be taken seriously, but, that's the thing, they are taken seriously here. If you watch some reality shows where celebrities from these soaps are called for talking, you'd find out. I was watching one of these shows and a lady, who played the villain in a serial, was talking.

She said that she and her husband went to a house in their neighbourhood where someone had just passed away to pay their respect. And when they reached, the women of that house called her to a room inside. Inside, it's all private, all the relatives of the dead person were gathered and then one of them says "why do you trouble the main character so much?"

A person is dead, and all they can think about is a serial, plus, they even think that she's a real villain.

This is the kind of hold that TV has on Indians, why don't they use it to spread some good message? It'd be a lot better than the drama they spread to every house.

The end of October is popular world-wide as Halloween, however, in India, it is popular for Diwali, the festival of lights.

The history behind this festival is pretty interesting, but it is long and would take too much time to explain, so if you're interested, read this wiki article.

Well basically, for almost everyone in the country, it's a week long vacation. It takes place after the terminal exams for students, and so, they are tension-free and Diwali is merely 1/3 of their 3 week vacation. For the working parents, Diwali is one festival where they get at least 5 days of break, and a bonus in their pay.

However, there is a lot of work in the house during Diwali. It starts with cleaning the house.

Diwali is also popular for the many foodstuffs that are made during this festival, so, the women are busy with the preparation of these sweets.

Diwali itself is a 5 day festival, beginning with the Dhanatrayodashi, when the wealth of the family is worshipped. The next day is Narak chaturdashi, when each family member has to wake up early and bathe with 'utna' (I'm not sure what the religious importance behind this is, but, it's used like soap and it actually is good for skin) and the women worship the men of the family.

The next day, Laxmi Poojan, is considered the main festival of Diwali, when the Goddess of Wealth, Laxmi is worshipped. On this day, everyone wears new clothes, or their best outfits and come together to worship the Goddess, after which they have a feast and eat the Diwali sweets.

The day after Laxmi Poojan is called Padwa, which signifies the relationship between husband-wife. The wife worships her husband and the husband, in return, gives a gift to his wife. The next day, the last day of Diwali, is celebrated as Bhaubeej, dedicated to the sister-brother relationship. Much like the Rakshabandhan, this festival sees a sister worshipping her brother, who in return, gives a gift to the sister. (Yes, Hindu brothers have to buy gifts for their sisters twice a year)

The religious importance behind each festival is very interesting, even to an atheist like me, however, the fake religious people seem to have forgotten the true meaning of Diwali. Diwali is called the festival of lights, not because of the fireworks, but because of the diyas (lamps) lighted during the festival.

But these last few years, I have seen, Diwali has become more about shopping, firecrackers and in general, about appearances.

Traditionally, the women would draw beautiful designs with rangoli outside the house on each day and light diyas (lamps) around the rangoli.


An example of the beautiful rangolis that could be seen a few years ago.

But nowadays, the rangolis are store bought, or home-made, that just have to be placed/glued to the floor and can be reused etc. And the lamps in the rangoli are sometimes LED bulbs in a traditional lamp, or a fancy lamp with a fancy flame.







Now, doesn't this go against our culture? I get it, no one has the time to draw huge rangolis in today's world, but that doesn't mean we have to replace it with artificial rangoli. I'm not saying my family is any better, because my mother did the same thing. She made an artificial rangoli like the one in the picture. It does look pretty, and it did take a lot of time and effort, but, that's not our culture. And for someone who constantly complains about today's generation not being in touch with our culture, our parents sure bend the rules a lot.

Another thing that bugs me is the Diwali has become like the Hindu christmas. We all expect gifts from our parents or family. I mean, it's fine if you go get a few new outfits, that's customary. But, we're expecting gifts like electronic appliances etc.

The stores, obviously encouraging this kind of behaviour, announce discounts on a wide range of products. And it's a known fact about Indians,

If a shirt costs 300 bucks, very few would buy it. But, if the same shirt had a price tag that said it's "On-sale price" was 300 bucks, thousands would rush to the store to buy it. We don't fucking care what the original price is. As soon as we see the word "discount", "sale", "__% off" we immediately feel like buying it.

That's exactly what the stores do. They announce discounts, that are actually minor, and so everyone buys their products, even though they don't need them, and the stores still roll in a profit.

And last but not the least, the firecrackers.

I'm still not sure what is so amusing about firecrackers. Because, for one, the firecrackers we burst aren't pretty. I mean, they only last for say 5 - 10 seconds. (Don't fucking tell me about a 25 shot firecracker, I know they last longer but it's the same shit, just 25 times.) In a lot of parts of the world, fireworks are illegal. And, the government or some organization sets up firework shows on special occasions (like the Fourth of July) and those are actually pretty sights, they last a few minutes, if not more.

Where I live, there has been a significant decrease in fireworks but I spent this Diwali at my grandparents and the residents in their society drew me crazy. To begin with, very few people actually burst firecrackers that are "pretty". It's mostly just newly wed couples that have infants or children below the age of 8. To them, that is amusing, and they don't burst too many either. In my opinion, that's fine.

But teenagers and young adults like me, I still don't understand what they find amusing about fireworks. For one, they don't even burst something that's pretty. They burst bombs. The result is not pleasing to the eye, it's basically paper flying everywhere. It's just noise. That's all it is. Noise.

Some adults go for rockets that make noise when lighted, and make noise while flying in the air, and make noise when they burst, with some colourful explosion. That too is fine, but they overdo it. They get one of those 100 shot fireworks (which will drain an average man's wallet by the way) and just keep them on for hours. So everyone in the vicinity is mute and deaf and you can do nothing but stare at the same shit, happing 100 times.

If a ban was to be put on firecrackers tomorrow, the whole nation would protest saying "Its our culture."

It fucking is not. It is not our culture to buy firecrackers that drain your parents' Diwali bonus. It is not our culture to burst bombs till our ears go deaf. It is not our culture to burst firecrackers and look at the explosions till our eyes go blind. It is not our culture to fucking ruin the country by littering it with paper and smoke.

You think smoke, light and noise in large quantities is amusing?


Here, I'll launch a rocket towards you.

Think logically for a second, India ranks 9th on the list of "Countries with the dirtiest air"





Source

In the list of cities with worst air pollution, India takes most spots.




And in the list of dirtiest cities, Delhi bags #24 and Mumbai is #7.

Source

If this isn't enough for you to think about cutting back on the explosives, I don't know what is. And we people are complete retards. Just 20 days before Diwali, we celebrate Gandhi Jayanti. Mahatma Gandhi preached "Cleanliness is next to Godliness" and we take an oath to start a clean India drive every-fucking-year.

And in less than a month, we completely ruin that drive under the name of "culture" by shitting over the entire country with paper litter, gunpowder residue and air pollution.

And then in December we support all kinds of cleanliness drives.

I've said it once and I'll say it again, the actions of Indian citizens are as retarded as can be.

I'm one of them, even if I don't burst firecrackers, I do contribute to their retardation in one way or the other.

Well, as you would expect, the songs that an Indian radio station can play are limited. (Because, there are next to no good hindi bands and even if there were, the RJs only ever play Bollywood songs) So, they just play latest Bollywood songs, one after the other.

This past month, I've had a lot of problems with my hard disk and operating systems so, I spent a lot of time listening to the radio. And, seriously, in 2 hours of listening to one radio station, 4 - 5 songs are repeated at least twice. That's saying a lot because in 2 hours (120 minutes) only 30 songs are played.

You'd think that's pretty good, considering how a lot of Bollywood songs are 4 minutes long, but no, RJs stop the song after 2 minutes and start their trash talk.

It's not like they even talk about anything important. Mostly just promotion of their shitty competitions like "Blockbuster Thursdays", "Blue carpet" or some gift hampers for Diwali.

This really pissed me off because, radio exists for 2 reasons. Music and a medium of spreading social awareness for any topic.

But Indian radio is now like YouTube. Ads pop-up all over your music.

If the radio stations can't generate enough money through sponsors (or whatever it is that gets them money) they should just disband instead of selling their stations to ads.

Because, when do people even listen to the radio? When they're stuck in traffic, or while cooking (like my mom does) or maybe when internet is down and you have no good music on your phone or computer (like the hard disk deprived kid I have become). And I'm sure we turn on the radio expecting a song. But, no. After say 3 - 4 minutes of music, there's a 10 - 15 minute ad break. And, these ads are the same shitty ones. The same god damn ads after every song.

No wonder kids remember all the ads so well. We're bombarded with ads.

And if you think you're good enough to evade ads and listen to music on another station, I'm sorry. That doesn't work. These stations are in cahoots. They play music at the same fucking time. And then they all go back to their main purpose, advertising. There are 4 radio stations in my city, all of which I can listen to without static from almost anywhere in my house, but all 4 have synchronized music times.

And RJs are no different either. I remember when I was 5 or 6, and I used to listen to the programmes on radio, like conversations between RJs and the audience or some celebrity. But, those programmes are gone. The only thing these fake RJs do is, prank call random strangers and fool them, which by the way, is definitely scripted. Because, no person who just got pranked on radio will just laugh and say "Oh you got me", he'll definitely rage and scream "BC".

So, out of 60 minutes, we get like 10 minutes of music. And the music is such that it really doesn't seem worth the ads. I'm not expecting it to be anywhere near Stairway to Heaven but it's just Bollywood. And, even in Bollywood, there are some beautiful Hindi songs, but no. Bollywood is now all about shitty Punjabi wanna-be rappers who think they're good. 1/5 songs is Hindi nowadays, which gets played almost never.

Instead of all this, I'd much rather not have this piece of shit.

If you've been reading my posts till now, you should have understood that I don't particularly like Bollywood movies, songs etc. and there are a lot of things about the country itself that I don't like.

A lot of my friends, that like all these things, often tell me that I'm unpatriotic, or that I should be ashamed of calling myself Indian. Well, according to me, I just hate all these things because, I know we can do a lot better. Bollywood has capital and talent (to some extent) but most of the public has low expectations, so, they just do the bare minimum.

And it is true, I prefer foreign movies and music over Indian. And when I say foreign, I mean any country, not necessarily America or UK. I like watching the mainstream "superhero" movies (like any geek would) and I enjoy rock/metal music. There are some Indian bands that I like, but, they aren't as popular as Bollywood songs which is weird because they're a lot better.

Apart from that, I find foreign languages even more interesting. I haven't actually seen a movie that was in a foreign language, but I was a frequent Anime watcher. The same applies to music, I like listening to foreign songs.

So, when one of my friends (Bollywood fangirl) heard me talking shit about Bollywood music and it's weird lyrics, she pointed out that I listen to raps, Spanish pop, Reggaeton, dubstep and a bit of EDM, which is like the international version of Bollywood (less than talented people making money off of stereotypical young adults, staying in business no longer than 10 years)

Yeah, I do like EDM and dubstep, but that's just because it's addictive and a good kind of music to have in background while I'm gaming or solving math etc. But, she wouldn't let go because she knew the Spanish songs I listen to and the Bollywood music I look down upon have similar lyrics.

Well, here it is,

I like hearing/watching weird and funny shit that I don't understand.

But, it's true. When you listen to a song in a foreign language, you don't care about the lyrics, in your head, you're just laughing at how weird the language sounds like.

Don't deny it, we all think every other language other than the ones we speak sound weird and funny.

And that's exactly what I do, I just listen to the weird song, not caring about the lyrics, keeping up with the trash beats that are addictive and trying my best to sing along.

But, you can't do that with a Bollywood song. As soon as you start listening to one, you immediately figure out what the lyrics mean,

So, it's not unpatriotic to not like your country's entertainment, or preferring a different country's entertainment.

Something most kids hide from their parents (other than the fact that they do drugs, drink, smoke etc) is their relationship with a person of the opposite sex (or same, that's a good sign)

Because, every kid knows, parents don't want their children to date, they just directly want them to get married. So, why is it that they think this way? Here's what I think:

1. Lack of trust:
They immediately assume we're going to pick  a guy/girl who's a bad influence, same with our friends. Or that the partner is going to turn their kid against them.


2. Studies:
Well, you're gonna be talking/chatting with your girlfriend/boyfriend a lot and they think you will lose focus and not do well in the exams. (Well, that might be true, but that's not an excuse)


3. Over-reaction:
It's in the news all the time. Some girl was raped/murdered/robbed by her boyfriend and that he was actually a con artist or something. Parents might be scared that this'll happen to their daughter, or their son will start doing this (for whatever reason...)


4. The future:
They're worried that you will end up wanting to marry him/her and naturally, they wouldn't want you to marry someone they don't know. But yeah, they expect you to marry a guy/girl who no one in your family knows.



5. Genuine concern:
Very few parents with this kind of approach. They're genuinely worried because they know high-school relationships hardly last and don't want you to waste time.

I discussed about finding 'the one' earlier. But, what about marrying her? Just the exchange of a couple of rings?


It's a lot more than that.


Engagement:
In India:
Unlike our western counterparts, we do not propose to the female. Mostly because, in arranged marriage, you rarely meet your bride before you decide to get married.

So, there has to be a proper engagement ceremony. Now, it's not just an exchange of rings. There's a lot to be done. The bride gifts the groom a set of traditional clothing, and the groom does the same. Then they both change into the newly received clothes.

The proper name of this ceremony is 'Rupaya Naral - Sakharpuda'. So, after the exchange of clothes, the ritual is done in a traditional method. 'Rupaya' is a coin (Rupee) and 'naral' is a coconut, so a coin and coconut is given by the bride's parents, to the groom. And 'sakhar' is sugar, 'puda' is packet, so, a packet of sugar is given by the groom's parents to the bride. This symbolizes that both parents agree to the marriage.

Nowadays however, instead of these items, everyday items like clothes, spices, toiletries etc. are given to the engaged couple for their future.

In western countries:



Or for some tacky guys,


Or something similar.

Pre-wedding ceremony (bride):

In India (Mehendi):
After the engagement, the bride has a small ceremony with her family members. In this ceremony, the women have beautiful designs of mehendi/heena drawn on their arms. The bride has a very intricate mehendi, on both arms and both legs. The bride's family also hosts dinner/lunch for the other family members that attend the ceremony.


Also, the groom is called to visit, to feed his bride who is covered in mehendi and is unable to touch anything. And sometimes, in the labyrinth of designs, is the initial of the groom, which he is made to find.

In western countries (Bachelorette party):
Well, couple of things that bug me about this is that bachelorette party is not a word. However, it is called a bachelorette party, not a spinster party.

Anyway, I'm not sure if every couple has a bachelorette party, but if the videos that I have seen on the internet are real (*cough*) I should not be talking about bachelorette parties.


They also have a bridal shower. It's an all female event with food and gifts for the bride.

Pre-wedding ceremony (groom):

In India (Haldi):
Not exactly a groom ceremony, but, I decided to include it in here.

Basically, the bodies of both bride and groom are plastered with haldi (paste of turmeric) There's a LOT of detail to this which I really don't want to get into. But, back when the bride and groom would be living in different cities, the haldi that was applied to the bride would be transported to the groom that is, the same haldi would be applied to both.

Bachelor party:
Pretty much a bachelor's last chance to be a bachelor. Now, there are a few 'traditions' for this.

1. Vegas. Not all follow it, but, in movies and sitcoms, the destination is mostly Vegas.
2. Gambling. Well, you're in Vegas, and you're about to get married. You're already spending a lot of money, why not gamble?
3. Drinking. That's a given when you're in Vegas but still. Although, this time, you drink till you forget your name.
4. Strippers. The highlight of the night. 
5. If you're in Vegas, spent a tonne of money on drinks and casinos, and strippers, you might as well get a. . .hoe.

Indians take this a bit too seriously. As in, they literally look for a match made in heaven. It might seem funny to most westerners how Indian marriages are.

Before I begin, like I always say, culture, traditions and lifestyles of Indians change from state to state. So, this is based on what I have seen in my state.



Westerners: They tend to start living away from their parents by the time they're in college, and then just kinda start living away when they get a job or something. Then it's up to them to find a girl/guy, date for a while and if he/she is good, then ask her to marry/wish he asks you to marry.

Indians: They live with their parents till they're married, unless they have to go somewhere far for a job. Even then, very rarely would Indian parents allow their son/daughter to marry his/her boyfriend/girlfriend. Wanna know how the process goes for us?

1. The start: Well, it is like the official announcement that the son/daughter is ready for marriage. It is mostly made once the son/daughter has a well paying job. It is firstly made to the close relatives of the family, friends at work and neighbours. Even though it is the official announcement, it's done very secretly.


But, it is considered as the official announcement because, given the gossiping nature of women, they know that word will soon reach out.

2. The basic choices: From this point onward, I'll just discuss about males finding a wife. So, once the word is out, relatives, friends etc. bring you pictures and biographies of their 'candidates'.


"She's slightly shorter than you, has beautiful long hair, and works at ___."

All these choices are, of course, rejected, as the next step is an important one.

3. The meet: No, it is not the meeting of the bride and groom. It is the meeting of brides and grooms. We have events where guys and girls can get on a stage, talk about themselves and the kind of spouse that they want. No personal information is given and everyone is known by numbers only. If interested, the guy can talk to a girl and ask her about herself.

Also, they serve food and most people only go for that.


A girl here is picked for 'further trials'.

4. The first visit: Now, the groom, with his family, visits the might-be-future-bride. Both families speak highly of their children, while the children shyly stare at the floor. Traditionally, the girl serves tea and a snack, cooked by herself. And customarily, the guy's family asks if the girl can sing (for whatever reasons)

5. Then, once both sides like the 'candidate', they go on for 'The Last Trial'. That is, to check if God approves.

So, a brahmin/priest is called. He reads the palms (or something, I don't know) of both bride and groom. And tries to match the readings. I have never actually been to this sort of thing, but, there are 36 readings of each and if all 36 match, the couple has God's blessing. I think anything above 30 is accepted. But, if not, bye bye.




So, to sum it up

I'm not sure how many Indians (others are out of question) know about the Ashtavinayaka.

Well, 'ashta' means eight and 'vinayaka' means Ganesh so, 'Ashtavinayaka' loosely translates to 'Eight Ganesh'. A lot of Ganpati followers go on 'Ashtavinayaka yatra'. That is a pilgrimage to the eight temples that house distinct idols of Ganesh, in a proper sequence. And, it is customary to visit the first Ganpati after visiting all eight, just to complete the circle or 'dakshina'.

All of these temples happen to be situated around the city I live in, Pune. My parents had already done this pilgrimage when they moved to the city, along with my brother. However, I wasn't born back then and had missed it. So, when my uncle suggested a repeat pilgrimage, my mother made it compulsory for me to come, but my brother was allowed to sit home. Back then, I hadn't told my mom about my atheism so...I couldn't back out of it.

Anyway, as it turns out, these eight temples are not near each other. And, it would take a whole day to visit all eight. Which means, my sunday was going to be spent. Well, here's a map of the eight temples:



Now, guess what? Here's the sequence:

• Mayureshwar a.k.a Moreshwar
• Siddhivinayak
• Ballaleshwar
• Varadavinayak
• Chintamani
• Girijatmaj
• Vighneshwar
• Mahaganapati

Hindus have a very popular festival, the Ganesh Chaturthi, which is celebrated in other parts of the world as well.

Well, to sum it up, an idol of the God is brought home on the first day of the festival, and it is then worshiped everyday. On the tenth day, it is taken to a river and immersed in it. Now, some families immerse the idol after three, five, or seven days. The days are decided according to a Hindu calendar so, sometimes (like this year) the festival is of 11 days.

A little history, during the freedom struggle of India, Lokmanya Tilak organised the Sarvajanik Ganesh Chaturthi (literally translated as Public Ganesh Chaturthi) So, the idol was brought to a specific place (like a square or a landmark) and people living around that area would worship it, have cultural meetings and programs etc. The main objective however, was to spread a feeling of unity among the Indians and, conduct secret meetings.

The story behind Ganesh is somewhat funny.

Traditional Ganesha Hindu stories tell of Lord Ganesha, son of goddess Parvati, who is consort of Shiva. Parvati created Ganesha out of sandalwood paste that she used for her bath and breathed life into the figure. She then set him the task of guarding her door while she bathed. Lord Shiva, who had gone out, returned and as Ganesha didn't know him, didn't allow him to enter. Lord Shiva became enraged by this and asked his follower Ganas to teach the child some manners. Ganesha who was very powerful, being born of Parvati, the embodiment of Shakti, defeated Shiva's followers and declared that nobody was allowed to enter while his mother was bathing. The sage of heavens, Narada along with the Saptarishis sensed the growing turmoil and went to appease the boy with no results. Angered, the king of Gods, Indra attacked the boy with his entire heavenly army but even they didn't stand a chance. By then, this issue had become a matter of pride for Shiva. Angry Shiva severed the head of the child. Parvati seeing this became enraged. Seeing Parvati in anger Shiva promised that her son will be alive again. The devas searched for the head of dead person facing North, but they found only the head of a dead elephant. They brought the head of the elephant and Shiva fixed it on the child's body and brought him back to life. Lord Shiva also declared that from this day the boy would be called Ganesha (Gana Isha : Lord of Ganas).

According to the Linga Purana, Ganesha was created by Lord Shiva and Goddess Parvati at the request of the Devas for being a Vighnakartaa (obstacle-creator) in the path of Rakshasas, and a Vighnahartaa (obstacle-averter) to help the Devas achieve fruits of their hard work. - Wikipedia

Putting aside the fact that Parvati could breathe life into sandalwood but couldn't fix it's broken head,



and the fact that Indra's heavenly army lost to a boy made of clay,



and the fact that while all of this was going on, Parvati was still bathing (was probably singing songs in the tub...) the story is somewhat interesting.



So, like I said, the idol is brought home on Ganesh Chaturthi (first day) and immersed on Anant Chaturdashi (tenth/eleventh/twelfth day)

But, here's what Ganesh Chaturthi is today:

1. Ganesh Chaturthi: Day of arrival

How it was intended/used to be:
The idol was brought home and the entire family would be happy. The women in the house would make sweets/modaks for the ritual and the men would sit down with a brahmin for the ritual.

How it is today:
The men get a holiday from work and reluctantly go out to get the idol. Children are happy that they got a holiday from school. And the mother tries to cheer everyone up because she is the only one who is actually happy.



2. Cultural programmes: A kind of event held for people of all ages to perform in front of a crowd, for entertainment (Only in sarvajanik/public celebrations)

How it was intended/used to be:
Well, I don't know how it used to be but this is what I think it was intended for. The elders would perform scenes from Ganesh's life to teach the children about the legends. And the children would perform traditional dances, and sing traditional songs or chant a prayer.

How it is today:
More of a high-school talent show. I've seen 11 year olds try to rap, 10 year olds dancing to a poorly mixed Hindi dubstep song, 9 year old girls dance like Shakira (if you know what I mean) to her songs, children performing humourous plays that aren't related to Ganesh and grown ups singing boring songs.......no, not prayers, boring old songs.



3. Coming together: Everyone coming together for the rituals and feeling united. (Sarvajanik/public only)

How it was intended/used to be:
People of all religions coming together for the daily prayers and talking.

How it is today:
Mostly Hindus with a few people of other religions. And, they just attend the prayers, take the prasad (offerings to the God) and leave without speaking to each other.



4. Immersion: There is a small (well......not at all small) procession for taking the idol to the river for immersion. It used to be small before Sarvajanik Ganpati.

How it was intended/used to be:
Everyone coming together and giving the God a hearty goodbye with traditional music (Dhol, tasha etc) and dancing. And shouting out "Ganpati bappa morya" etc.

How it is today:
Everyone coming together to be a part of the immersion. DJs taking over the traditional music and drunkards taking over the "dance floor". Everyone looking for an opportunity to shout "Ganpati bappa morya" etc but of course, the DJ doesn't stop. And people bursting firecrackers for some reason. Basically, attempts at increasing noise pollution.



So, this is what faith is today. I'm no fan of long festivals but I did used to enjoy the more traditional kind of this festival back when I was 5 or 6. Now, it has lost all it's meaning.