The end of October is popular world-wide as Halloween, however, in India, it is popular for Diwali, the festival of lights.

The history behind this festival is pretty interesting, but it is long and would take too much time to explain, so if you're interested, read this wiki article.

Well basically, for almost everyone in the country, it's a week long vacation. It takes place after the terminal exams for students, and so, they are tension-free and Diwali is merely 1/3 of their 3 week vacation. For the working parents, Diwali is one festival where they get at least 5 days of break, and a bonus in their pay.

However, there is a lot of work in the house during Diwali. It starts with cleaning the house.

Diwali is also popular for the many foodstuffs that are made during this festival, so, the women are busy with the preparation of these sweets.

Diwali itself is a 5 day festival, beginning with the Dhanatrayodashi, when the wealth of the family is worshipped. The next day is Narak chaturdashi, when each family member has to wake up early and bathe with 'utna' (I'm not sure what the religious importance behind this is, but, it's used like soap and it actually is good for skin) and the women worship the men of the family.

The next day, Laxmi Poojan, is considered the main festival of Diwali, when the Goddess of Wealth, Laxmi is worshipped. On this day, everyone wears new clothes, or their best outfits and come together to worship the Goddess, after which they have a feast and eat the Diwali sweets.

The day after Laxmi Poojan is called Padwa, which signifies the relationship between husband-wife. The wife worships her husband and the husband, in return, gives a gift to his wife. The next day, the last day of Diwali, is celebrated as Bhaubeej, dedicated to the sister-brother relationship. Much like the Rakshabandhan, this festival sees a sister worshipping her brother, who in return, gives a gift to the sister. (Yes, Hindu brothers have to buy gifts for their sisters twice a year)

The religious importance behind each festival is very interesting, even to an atheist like me, however, the fake religious people seem to have forgotten the true meaning of Diwali. Diwali is called the festival of lights, not because of the fireworks, but because of the diyas (lamps) lighted during the festival.

But these last few years, I have seen, Diwali has become more about shopping, firecrackers and in general, about appearances.

Traditionally, the women would draw beautiful designs with rangoli outside the house on each day and light diyas (lamps) around the rangoli.


An example of the beautiful rangolis that could be seen a few years ago.

But nowadays, the rangolis are store bought, or home-made, that just have to be placed/glued to the floor and can be reused etc. And the lamps in the rangoli are sometimes LED bulbs in a traditional lamp, or a fancy lamp with a fancy flame.







Now, doesn't this go against our culture? I get it, no one has the time to draw huge rangolis in today's world, but that doesn't mean we have to replace it with artificial rangoli. I'm not saying my family is any better, because my mother did the same thing. She made an artificial rangoli like the one in the picture. It does look pretty, and it did take a lot of time and effort, but, that's not our culture. And for someone who constantly complains about today's generation not being in touch with our culture, our parents sure bend the rules a lot.

Another thing that bugs me is the Diwali has become like the Hindu christmas. We all expect gifts from our parents or family. I mean, it's fine if you go get a few new outfits, that's customary. But, we're expecting gifts like electronic appliances etc.

The stores, obviously encouraging this kind of behaviour, announce discounts on a wide range of products. And it's a known fact about Indians,

If a shirt costs 300 bucks, very few would buy it. But, if the same shirt had a price tag that said it's "On-sale price" was 300 bucks, thousands would rush to the store to buy it. We don't fucking care what the original price is. As soon as we see the word "discount", "sale", "__% off" we immediately feel like buying it.

That's exactly what the stores do. They announce discounts, that are actually minor, and so everyone buys their products, even though they don't need them, and the stores still roll in a profit.

And last but not the least, the firecrackers.

I'm still not sure what is so amusing about firecrackers. Because, for one, the firecrackers we burst aren't pretty. I mean, they only last for say 5 - 10 seconds. (Don't fucking tell me about a 25 shot firecracker, I know they last longer but it's the same shit, just 25 times.) In a lot of parts of the world, fireworks are illegal. And, the government or some organization sets up firework shows on special occasions (like the Fourth of July) and those are actually pretty sights, they last a few minutes, if not more.

Where I live, there has been a significant decrease in fireworks but I spent this Diwali at my grandparents and the residents in their society drew me crazy. To begin with, very few people actually burst firecrackers that are "pretty". It's mostly just newly wed couples that have infants or children below the age of 8. To them, that is amusing, and they don't burst too many either. In my opinion, that's fine.

But teenagers and young adults like me, I still don't understand what they find amusing about fireworks. For one, they don't even burst something that's pretty. They burst bombs. The result is not pleasing to the eye, it's basically paper flying everywhere. It's just noise. That's all it is. Noise.

Some adults go for rockets that make noise when lighted, and make noise while flying in the air, and make noise when they burst, with some colourful explosion. That too is fine, but they overdo it. They get one of those 100 shot fireworks (which will drain an average man's wallet by the way) and just keep them on for hours. So everyone in the vicinity is mute and deaf and you can do nothing but stare at the same shit, happing 100 times.

If a ban was to be put on firecrackers tomorrow, the whole nation would protest saying "Its our culture."

It fucking is not. It is not our culture to buy firecrackers that drain your parents' Diwali bonus. It is not our culture to burst bombs till our ears go deaf. It is not our culture to burst firecrackers and look at the explosions till our eyes go blind. It is not our culture to fucking ruin the country by littering it with paper and smoke.

You think smoke, light and noise in large quantities is amusing?


Here, I'll launch a rocket towards you.

Think logically for a second, India ranks 9th on the list of "Countries with the dirtiest air"





Source

In the list of cities with worst air pollution, India takes most spots.




And in the list of dirtiest cities, Delhi bags #24 and Mumbai is #7.

Source

If this isn't enough for you to think about cutting back on the explosives, I don't know what is. And we people are complete retards. Just 20 days before Diwali, we celebrate Gandhi Jayanti. Mahatma Gandhi preached "Cleanliness is next to Godliness" and we take an oath to start a clean India drive every-fucking-year.

And in less than a month, we completely ruin that drive under the name of "culture" by shitting over the entire country with paper litter, gunpowder residue and air pollution.

And then in December we support all kinds of cleanliness drives.

I've said it once and I'll say it again, the actions of Indian citizens are as retarded as can be.

I'm one of them, even if I don't burst firecrackers, I do contribute to their retardation in one way or the other.

Something most kids hide from their parents (other than the fact that they do drugs, drink, smoke etc) is their relationship with a person of the opposite sex (or same, that's a good sign)

Because, every kid knows, parents don't want their children to date, they just directly want them to get married. So, why is it that they think this way? Here's what I think:

1. Lack of trust:
They immediately assume we're going to pick  a guy/girl who's a bad influence, same with our friends. Or that the partner is going to turn their kid against them.


2. Studies:
Well, you're gonna be talking/chatting with your girlfriend/boyfriend a lot and they think you will lose focus and not do well in the exams. (Well, that might be true, but that's not an excuse)


3. Over-reaction:
It's in the news all the time. Some girl was raped/murdered/robbed by her boyfriend and that he was actually a con artist or something. Parents might be scared that this'll happen to their daughter, or their son will start doing this (for whatever reason...)


4. The future:
They're worried that you will end up wanting to marry him/her and naturally, they wouldn't want you to marry someone they don't know. But yeah, they expect you to marry a guy/girl who no one in your family knows.



5. Genuine concern:
Very few parents with this kind of approach. They're genuinely worried because they know high-school relationships hardly last and don't want you to waste time.

I discussed about finding 'the one' earlier. But, what about marrying her? Just the exchange of a couple of rings?


It's a lot more than that.


Engagement:
In India:
Unlike our western counterparts, we do not propose to the female. Mostly because, in arranged marriage, you rarely meet your bride before you decide to get married.

So, there has to be a proper engagement ceremony. Now, it's not just an exchange of rings. There's a lot to be done. The bride gifts the groom a set of traditional clothing, and the groom does the same. Then they both change into the newly received clothes.

The proper name of this ceremony is 'Rupaya Naral - Sakharpuda'. So, after the exchange of clothes, the ritual is done in a traditional method. 'Rupaya' is a coin (Rupee) and 'naral' is a coconut, so a coin and coconut is given by the bride's parents, to the groom. And 'sakhar' is sugar, 'puda' is packet, so, a packet of sugar is given by the groom's parents to the bride. This symbolizes that both parents agree to the marriage.

Nowadays however, instead of these items, everyday items like clothes, spices, toiletries etc. are given to the engaged couple for their future.

In western countries:



Or for some tacky guys,


Or something similar.

Pre-wedding ceremony (bride):

In India (Mehendi):
After the engagement, the bride has a small ceremony with her family members. In this ceremony, the women have beautiful designs of mehendi/heena drawn on their arms. The bride has a very intricate mehendi, on both arms and both legs. The bride's family also hosts dinner/lunch for the other family members that attend the ceremony.


Also, the groom is called to visit, to feed his bride who is covered in mehendi and is unable to touch anything. And sometimes, in the labyrinth of designs, is the initial of the groom, which he is made to find.

In western countries (Bachelorette party):
Well, couple of things that bug me about this is that bachelorette party is not a word. However, it is called a bachelorette party, not a spinster party.

Anyway, I'm not sure if every couple has a bachelorette party, but if the videos that I have seen on the internet are real (*cough*) I should not be talking about bachelorette parties.


They also have a bridal shower. It's an all female event with food and gifts for the bride.

Pre-wedding ceremony (groom):

In India (Haldi):
Not exactly a groom ceremony, but, I decided to include it in here.

Basically, the bodies of both bride and groom are plastered with haldi (paste of turmeric) There's a LOT of detail to this which I really don't want to get into. But, back when the bride and groom would be living in different cities, the haldi that was applied to the bride would be transported to the groom that is, the same haldi would be applied to both.

Bachelor party:
Pretty much a bachelor's last chance to be a bachelor. Now, there are a few 'traditions' for this.

1. Vegas. Not all follow it, but, in movies and sitcoms, the destination is mostly Vegas.
2. Gambling. Well, you're in Vegas, and you're about to get married. You're already spending a lot of money, why not gamble?
3. Drinking. That's a given when you're in Vegas but still. Although, this time, you drink till you forget your name.
4. Strippers. The highlight of the night. 
5. If you're in Vegas, spent a tonne of money on drinks and casinos, and strippers, you might as well get a. . .hoe.